December 23
Matthew 11:28-30
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Slowing Down to Humbly Receive the Gift of Christ’s Presence
by Holly Oxhandler, Ph.D.
Each year, the holiday season ushers us through layers of joy, grief, worry, hope, exhaustion, and connection, all alongside events, relationships, and memories that carry their own layers. The spectrum of emotions that surface during the holidays and the energy required to truly be with and move through these emotions are not to be underestimated. Of course, all of this is in addition to the unique, day-to-day experiences we carry within, moving us to our capacity’s edge and perhaps beyond our abilities to cope with stress.
At the same time, Advent invites us into the deep work of slowing down and cultivating stillness to receive the gift of Christ’s presence within our lives and the healing peace it offers.
Slowing down is not easy for us, myself included. Over the last several years, we’ve seen rates of burnout and mental health struggles surge, particularly among helpers and givers. In response, the Department of Health and Human Services has issued Surgeon General Advisories on the mental health and well-being of parents (2024), health worker burnout (2022), workplace mental health and well-being (2022), and youth mental health (2021). The rising rates of burnout, exhaustion, and mental health struggles are very real for many and their loved ones, and the holiday season can intensify these experiences.
In today’s passage, Jesus is calling us toward him, reminding us of the peace he embodies through his presence, and inviting us into the deepest soul rest – the rest we need from going and doing and helping and serving and studying and caregiving and hustling and trying to make every end meet and make it all work and do as much as we can all the time.
To be clear, the ways we’re uniquely wired to serve others can be holy and healing.[1] Simultaneously, our belovedness means we are loved as we are, aside from what we do. In today’s passage, Jesus reminds us that we are worthy of rest and offers all of us who feel weary and burdened a safe, loving place where our nervous system isn’t stretched beyond capacity, and where we can trust and receive his peace. This is not to bypass or disconnect from our painful experiences, but to trust Jesus to care for us as we rest. I believe it’s by receiving this deep peace that we can experience deep peace within ourselves, allowing us as helpers to create the safe space to offer such peace to others.
In this passage, Jesus is also asking us to learn from him, elevating that he’s gentle and humble in heart. How might we learn from his posture of gentleness and humility? And how might what we learn the necessity of humility in receiving the deep rest our souls long for? Humility “involves a reasonably accurate view of oneself, a concern for others, and an openness to various ideas.”[2] Unfortunately, many of us as helpers and caregivers struggle with the opposite of humility – pride: “It’s ok, I’ve got it!” “Happy to help you, but I don’t need help!” “No, no – let me handle all the holiday party details, invitations, cooking, cleaning, kids’ activities, etc.” As I wrote about in The Soul of the Helper: Seven Stages to Seeing the Sacred Within Yourself So You Can See It in Others, humility involves a balance of honoring our value alongside the value of others, receiving help from others, and honestly assessing our limitations.
For those of us who feel weary and burdened, Jesus guides us to learn from him, including his gentleness and humility. He’s inviting us to turn from our pace of life; to come to, be with, and trust Jesus as we learn from him; and to allow our nervous system to rest instead of remain in a constant fight/flight/freeze/fawn response. And although we need different forms of rest – spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, social, creative, and sensory rest[3] – we’re also unique in how we experience such rest. Whether through connecting with loved ones or embracing solitude, movement or stillness, music or silence, creativity or therapy, napping or playing, reading or writing, prayer, or any combination of various forms of rest, my hope is that we intentionally prioritize gently and humbly leaning into and prioritizing the rest we need that Jesus offers.
As we move into these final days of Advent and prepare our hearts to celebrate Christ’s birth...
May we lean into Jesus’s teaching of humility and remembering our limited human capacity.
May we humbly receive the gift of peace Christ offers us through his presence, find grounding within it, and extend that peace to others.
May we honor the rest we need, and may we rest in our inherent enoughness, our belovedness, remembering we are infinitely loved as we are in this moment.
May we seek Christ’s presence in the unpromised gift of this moment, in the precious days ahead, and into the new year.
[1] Holly K. Oxhandler, The Soul of the Helper: Seven Stages to Seeing the Sacred in Yourself So You Can See It in Others
[2] Mark McMinn, The Science of Virtue: Why Positive Psychology Matters to the Church, p. 95
[3] Saundra Dalton-Smith, Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity
About the Author
Holly Oxhandler, Ph.D.
Holly Oxhandler, Ph.D., serves Baylor University’s Diana R. Garland School of Social Work as a Professor and Associate Dean for Research. Dr. Oxhandler studies the intersection of the ethical and effective integration of clients’ religion/spirituality within the evidence-based practice process in mental and behavioral health treatment. She developed the Religious/Spiritually Integrated Practice Assessment Scale (RSIPAS), which assesses mental healthcare providers’ (social workers, psychologists, counselors, marriage and family therapists, and nurses) attitudes, perceived feasibility, self-efficacy, behaviors, and overall orientation toward integrating clients’ RS in practice. She has also developed other instruments related to this area of practice.
Dr. Oxhandler cohosts the weekly podcast, CXMH: Christianity & Mental Health, and she has authored many journal articles and a book, The Soul of the Helper: Seven Stages to Seeing the Sacred Within Yourself So You Can See It in Others, which was published in 2022. Because of her exceptional mentors, Dr. Oxhandler deeply enjoys paying it forward by mentoring students outside the classroom regarding their professional development and supporting faculty through her work as Associate Dean for Research. She is married to Cory Oxhandler, and the couple has two children.